


In her own words

by WonderSeeker



Series: A better tomorrow [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, POV Nymphadora Tonks, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderSeeker/pseuds/WonderSeeker
Summary: Tonks’ story of how she came to be in 1981, ready to be part of the team from "Planning for a better tomorrow". The decisions she had to make and the people she had to leave behind. A glimpse at everyone’s future by remembering her past.
Relationships: Background Isadora Black/Remus Lupin
Series: A better tomorrow [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741423
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	1. An unusual day

**Author's Note:**

> This is not exactly a prequel or a sequel so, not sure what to call it. It can be read separately from the main story, it makes sense on it’s own but I obviously recommend that you read "Planning for a better tomorrow" first :)

It had been an excruciatingly long day at training. Nymphadora Tonks was eager to arrive home, eat her dad’s homemade dinner and watch some movie in her pajamas. She was fantasizing about a steaming plate of lasagna when one of the trainers approached her and a number of her companions, notifying them that they had been summoned by the legendary Alastor Moody and were expected at the Ministry in an hour. Immediately, excitement overrode all the exhaustion she might have been feeling. The group of trainees left the center together, theorizing about the unexpected meeting. After all, it was extremely unusual for any trainee to be needed by the Head of the Auror Department, as the crime rates were in an all-time low and there were enough experienced aurors to handle any threat that might appear.

When they arrived at the Ministry building, it was deserted as it always was at that time of the day. That surprisingly changed as soon as they enter the Auror Department. It was buzzing with chatter from several aurors from all ranks. However, Tonks could see that most of them were young people such as herself. Her hair kept switching between different colors as she tried to contain her enthusiasm - mainly her usual shade of pink, a cheerful orange and bright yellow. A number of people stared at her, but she was used to the attention; methamorphmagus were quite rare. She only knew of two others and they were actually related to her, Isadora - one of her mum’s distant cousins - and her nine-year-old son Teddy. Tonks looked around and, yes, she was right there, the blond woman with purple highlights who seemed to be laughing at Moody’s grumpy expression.

The Head Auror escaped her cousin and quickly caught everyone’s attention, guiding them to one of the bigger conference rooms. There, the senior members of the department informed them that, in order to participate in the meeting, they would all need to make an oath of secrecy. Tonks didn’t even hesitate to comply. After they were done, the bosses told them they were waiting for a few more people to show up.

Ten minutes later, two unspeakables with their hoods up and their faces shadowed by a spell entered the room. Instantly, everyone went completely silent. The presence of two employees from the Department of Mysteries meant serious business and they were all well aware of the fact.

One of the individuals stepped forward and lowered his hood. With that action his face also became clear for all to see and Tonks stifled a gasp. It was not just the gesture that surprised her, breaking the rule that unspeakables were supposed to be anonymous, but also the fact that she knew him. He was Remus Lupin, Isadora’s husband. The trainne’s gaze began to search for her among their coworkers and, when she locked eyes with her, she didn’t seem at all surprised. Obviously, as his wife she would have known. That kind of explained much about their family, they had always been extremely secretive.

Her focus returned to Remus the minute he smiled at the aurors in front of him and started to talk. “Good evening everyone. My name is Remus Lupin and, as you can tell, I’m an unspeakable. We gathered you all here today to offer you the chance to participate in a classified mission, a joint effort between the Auror Department and the Department of Mysteries.” He beckoned Moody forwards and the old auror obeyed him, making a big show of rolling his eyes and grumbling about getting to the point quicker. Remus’ upturned lips told Tonks that he was familiar with the man.

“Head Auror Moody and I have chosen the people standing in this room. That means we believe that you have what it takes to succeed in this task.” Tonks was getting more and more thrilled. Whatever it was, she was in.

Remus pleasant tone continued with his speech. “Not so long ago, there was a terrible war throughout the British magical world. Most of you were old enough to be aware that there were horrifying things happening around you but not so old as to be directly drawn into it. Aurors were not the only ones fighting, people who had enough courage and ability to stand for themselves and for others were involved as well. Disappearances, murders, they were usual occurrences. Entire families were wiped out.” A solemn silence had stablished in the room following those words. They knew all of that facts, of course, but that didn’t mean they were easier to hear. Many of them had lost family members during the war.

Moody cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at his subordinates. The metamorphmagus thought that he was laying that old irritable boss image a bit thick – not that she ever going to tell him that. “You probably heard this from family members, read it from books or even studied it at school. What not many people remember though is what happened _after_ Voldemort’s fall” At this Tonks raised her head. He was right, beside the partying and the death eater trials, she didn’t know what else happened. “After his defeat, the Ministry was in chaos. Hell, our world was in chaos, but specially the Ministry. We had lost too many people battling Tom Riddle’s army and the Auror Department couldn’t keep track of all those bastards. We feared that many of them would get away. Several men and women had joined us during the war but they were tired of fighting. This profession is demanding and not everyone is up for it, so when the war ended, they left to pursue other careers, easier ones, less dangerous. Truthfully, I don’t resent them. Aurors were supposed to be investigators, not a bloody army. Still, it’s important for you to get the picture, we needed help.”

Tonks was engrossed by the story. She was sure that somehow they had received that help because, in the end, not many death eaters had remained free. She was not disappointed when Moody resumed talking. “From out of nowhere, a group of witches and wizards showed up to work with us. We couldn’t afford to waste time with long training so we just tested them out and most of them were given the rank of junior aurors. They were put on the field and started working immediately. Together, we captured almost every death eater with minimal casualties.”

Remus picked up the story. “But the Ministry never understood where all those people came from. They all told the same story, that they were part of an organization that used to fight death eaters, just like the Order of the Phoenix, and when the war ended they decided that they were needed in an official capacity.”

Moody snorted. “Of course, nobody believed them. If that organization had been real, we would have known; some of us would have crossed paths with them at some point. But they were too damn useful so we let it go.”

“Nevertheless, that eventually changed and now we know who they were and where did they came from,” declared Remus. Tonks shivered with anticipation. That was it, they were going to tell them what they wanted from them. “They were a group aurors sent from the future.”

Everyone was stunned. Remus waited some time to let the statement sink in. Tonks was shocked, but she didn’t have any doubt that it was true. Who better to know than an unspeakable? They did study time, or at least there were rumors about it… Suddenly, it dawned on her. They were the group! They wanted to send them all to the past!

The second unspeakable stepped forward with a shiny object in his/her hands. It looked like an ancient hourglass. Tonks assumed it was the time travel device. The rough voice, distorted by magical means, started to explain “This is a time-turner. It can send the wearer back to up to nine years and four months. Ever since we realized where this mysterious people had come from, we concentrated our efforts in developing these devices. Today, we can say for certain that they are in perfect working order.”

“The reason we are showing you this is that we are asking for volunteers. You’ll be sent to November 1981, given new identities, money and places to live. This decision is not one to make lightly, as there is no coming back,” the enthusiasm that had been building in the room abruptly came to a halt. “The time-turners work one-way only. That means, if you decide to go back in time, you won’t return to the future, at least not with the device. You’ll live your lives normally and after eight years you’ll find yourselves in this time again.” The dejected faces around her made Tonks realize that most of his coworkers had already chosen not to do it. She was not so sure. It still sounded awesome, to be able to travel to the past! Maybe she could stop herself from dating Charlie Weasley in her sixth year, that had been a disaster…

The young trainee’s plan was crushed when the unspeakable kept explaining the mechanics of the time-device. Apparently, she wouldn’t be able to change anything. Everything that happened to her would happen again, she would just experience the past from a different perspective. That actually sounded pretty safe, there was no way to muck something up and ruin her present. Tonks listened closely to the dangers. They warned them about the troubled times, with free death eaters and a post-war world, but that didn’t worry her much. Then, the unspeakables told them about the risks of confronting their younger selves or people who knew them. That got her attention. The time travelers would be disguised, would become different people, so that they could reduce the possibilities of being recognized. Tonks was confident she wouldn’t have a problem with that, after all, she was a methamorphmagus.

They continued talking about the mission for about half an hour. Tonks was focused on everything they were saying, trying to decide if she wanted to go or not. Finally, they concluded the meeting, letting them know that they had two weeks to consider it.

Tonks was about to walk out of the room when she saw Isadora making a head motion for her to stay. She nodded and went to stand beside her while they waited for the rest to leave. The hooded unspeakable also exited the room, but Remus, Moody and Isadora stayed with her. She could see that they were all quite nervous. Well, Moody was scowling as always but he kept glancing at her so she assumed he was as nervous as the other two.

When the door was closed, Remus cleared his throat and asker her “Wha – What do you think about it? Are you up to the challenge?” He had started stuttering but finished with a challenging smirk. Tonks shook her head, amused. She had always gotten on pretty well with Remus and he liked teasing her almost as much as Sirius did. She concentrated on the question.

“I’m considering it. It’s a lot to take in, I would be leaving my whole life behind and starting a new one in another time…” mused Tonks, biting her lower lip.

“Yes, you would,” Moody said as bluntly as ever. “Don’t rush into it, you’ll need to be completely sure that it is what you want.”

Tonks nodded, thankful for the support. She was still wondering why they had asked her to stay though, and she was about to voice her question when Isadora beat her to it.

“We actually asked you to stay because we have a different mission for you.”

“A different mission?” repeated the trainee, bemused.

“Yes, should you choose to return to the past, we will debrief you on the other mission,” clarified Remus, looking intently at her.

The young metamorphmagus huffed, disgruntled. “How can I possibly make that choice without having all the information?”

Isadora seemed satisfied with the response. “You are right, of course. We will tell you the basics now, enough for you to know what to expect.”

Tonks looked up, surprised. Apparently that had been some kind of test.

“You should sit down; this will take a while” suggested the older witch. They all conjured some chairs and made themselves comfortable. Tonks looked around, wondering which of them would explain.

Remus was the one to start talking. “About eight years ago, I was visited by a time traveler from the future…”

What followed that opening was a story almost too strange to be believable. Remus explained the time ritual that Harry had used and the reasons why he had chosen to do so. It horrified Tonks that the world had been ruined so badly that extreme measures such us time travel had been needed. She was shaken by the consequences of the ritual, mainly the complete disappearance of that whole timeline and the people in it; nevertheless, she understood the need for it.

“Harry was the one who saved Sirius?” she exclaimed when they reached that part of the story. Obviously, she had known about her cousin’s escape; however, he had always refused to share any details with anyone.

“Yes, he was,” answered Remus proudly. He had been doing most of the talking with the occasional remark from Isadora or Moody.

Tonks was very impressed with the little boy she knew as Harry Potter. Of course, the guy who had gone to Azkaban was a different version of him, but that didn’t make it any less amazing. Little Harry was utterly devoted to his friends and family – a very strong Hufflepuff trait, as she always teased him – so it was not so difficult to believe he would go to such lengths for them. What made it that incredible, in her opinion, was that he was merely nineteen years old when he accomplished all that.

“Maybe we should stop at that and leave you some time to process this,” suggested Isadora.

“No!” disagreed Tonks. “You haven’t even begun to tell me what this mission is supposed to be about.”

“She is right; we should at least tell her that,” accepted Moody, contemplative.

“All right, let’s get to the point. What do you know about Horcruxes?” inquired Remus.

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Great, I didn’t expect you to. Horcruxes are one of the worst sort of magic. They are created in an attempt to reach immortality. The wizard or witch tears a piece of their souls by a ritual and an act of evil and locks it in an object. This objects are the Horcruxes and they tethered the person to life.”

The explanation made her turn green, but she nodded at him to continue.

“Tom Riddle made Horcruxes and hid them, that’s why he survived after Halloween, 1981. The mission that future Harry left us was to basically cleanse the wizarding world from war and bigotry; one of the steps was to finally get rid of the monster. He gave us a lot of information, but it required quite a bit of work. The three of us plus some allies managed to get it done.”

It was all said with a nonchalant air, in the same tone as he had explained countless subjects to her thought the years she had known him. The people in front of her had managed to defeat the most feared wizard in Britain and they all had been at her home several times for dinner! She had played with them as a child, they had teased her about her clumsiness, they had pranked each other! It was quite shocking for the young witch.

“I think that now it’s a good time to stop,” observed Remus, watching her reaction.

The other two agreed with him, but Tonks had one more thing she needed to ask before leaving.

“You guys were all there, you already know if I decided to travel back or not. Why don’t you just tell me and save me the trouble?”

“It’s not our decision to make Tonks,” said Isadora softly. “If someone tries to force this on you, you will resent that person your whole life. You need to choose what you want to do, forget what we or anyone else already know.”


	2. The hardest decision

Two days had passed since the summon to the Auror Department and the following conversation with Remus, Isadora and Moody. Tonks had been spending most of her time with her parents, who didn’t understand her sudden clinginess. She felt the need to be with them, to enjoy as much time as possible with her family while considering the possibility of leaving them behind. Sometimes, she felt she was crazy to even contemplate the idea of travelling back in time. Other times, she was just as excited as when she first heard about it. It wasn’t only because of her sense of adventure, although it was a large part of it, but also due to her sense of duty.

The metamorphmagus had decided to become an auror to protect those who needed help. She had always fought for what she thought was right and stood up for her beliefs. Tonks had a strong moral code and knowing that there was a situation where she was needed, she could not condone staying behind. That didn’t mean she was not afraid.

It was Monday morning, so it was time to return to her training. She went through the motions like any other day, working hard with her fellow trainees and having a few laughs in between. The young witch was not the only one a bit more absent minded than usual, but she tried her best to relegate the thoughts of her impending decision to the back of her brain. I wouldn’t do to be distracted while practicing combat exercises.

After one more grueling day at the training center, she was off to her friend’s birthday party. Steven Quinn had been a Ravenclaw in her year and one of the few people who had looked past her morphing ability. It had been hard for eleven-year-old Tonks to make friends with kids who didn’t consider her either extremely cool or a freak of nature because of what she was. Eventually, they had formed an eclectic group that included people from every house. There was Charlie from Gryffindor, who was abroad working with dragons; Abby, her best friend from Hufflepuff, who was about to get married to their other friend Daniel, also a Ravenclaw; Natalie from Slytherin; Steven and, of course, Tonks. They had all been close since third year, but lately they had been seeing each other less and less. It was understandable, all of them had commitments of their own, but it didn’t make her any less sad.

She arrived at Steven’s home and was immediately pounded on by Abby. The excited girl gossiped about everything and everyone they knew and some people they didn’t, while Tonks listened and tried to answer at the right places.

“Tonks!” her friend whined when she failed to react properly to some story she was not paying attention to. “You are not listening!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Abby, I’m a bit distracted today. Do you know where Steven is?” she changed the subject quickly.

“He was outside with the rest of the guys,” muttered Abby, not appreciating being ignored.

“All right, let’s go there, we can catch up later Abby, I promise.”

They joined the other guests and soon the partying atmosphere had driven most of her troubled thoughts away. They were dancing and laughing, not worrying about anything. There were not many people; just their group, Natalie’s boyfriend and some of Steven’s friends from work. However, there were enough for Tonks to be able to fade in the background for a while, participating in the activities without much input from her tired brain.

During a lull in the action around her, she was once again getting lost in thought until Steven approached her.

“Are you going to tell me what’s troubling you?” he asked in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

Tonks jumped a bit, surprised. She had not heard him sit down next to her.

“Steve! Don’t do that!” she scolded him after nearly falling from her seat. “I have a lot on my mind, I’m a bit distracted.”

“I noticed,” he stated candidly. “Anything I can help you with?”

The witch pondered what to say. She was not supposed to share anything, but she really needed to talk with someone...

“Are your parents okay?” probed her friend, concerned.

“What?” she exclaimed, disturbed “Yes, they are great, it has nothing to do with them.”

“That’s a relief,” said Steven, relaxing on the chair. “Something about work then?”

“Since when are you this perceptive?” inquired Tonks, eyes narrowed on the wizard.

“Always have been, you just didn’t notice,” he answered promptly.

Tonks slapped him lightly on the shoulder and he sniggered at her.

“I think I’m getting a little too predictable,” she complained. “Yes, there is something going on at work, but I’m not supposed to say anything. I made an oath of secrecy.”

“That serious?” he was worried once again.

“Yeah, they want us to go on a long term mission, deep undercover, no contact with friends and family,” she explained as best as she could without breaking the oath.

“That’s horrible! Why would you do that?”

“Well, it’s for a very important reason…” she said vaguely. “And it’s not like I’m infiltrating a supremacist group or going somewhere awful; I would be working with good people, friends even.”

“I don’t understand… Why would you be undercover with no contact if you are going to be with good people?”

Tonks racked her brain for an answer. How could she ever explain it without mentioning time traveling? She couldn’t tell him that she had to disguise herself not to be confused for her younger self…

She sighed heavily. “It’s really complicated, that’s why I was hesitant to tell you in the first place,” she backtracked at the look on his face. “But I am glad I did, I need to discuss this in order to make a decision.”

Steven stayed silent for a while, contemplating the problem. He finally reached a conclusion and voiced it.

“All right, I won’t pretend to understand what this mission is or even why they are recruiting a trainee. However, I think what you need to ask yourself is this; would you be happier if you go or if you stay? Which choice can you really live with? You shouldn’t decide to accept the mission because of a sense of obligation, it would make you miserable,” he said with a knowing look.

It was that idea that stayed with Tonks for the rest of the week. Steven knew her pretty well and he understood her need of working for great causes, her fighting spirit. Nevertheless, he recommended caution and thinking about what she needed to be content with her own life. Such a simple concept that she sometimes overlooked, not being used to having to work for her happiness. Tonks had always had a good family, never lacked anything in terms of possessions, she had loyal friends and a job she loved. She didn’t want for anything. It was eye-opening for the young witch to realize how lucky she actually was.

* * *

It was Friday evening and she had arranged to meet the challenging trio once again. Tonks had decided to inform them that she was not going to accept the assignment, she couldn’t risk losing everything she had and she was not looking forward to being practically alone for the next eight years. Or the last eight years? Whatever, time travelling was confusing. The point was, there were too many people who would have killed to have a life like hers, the metamorphmagus wasn’t about to give hers up.

She arrived at Moody’s office and knocked decisively on the door. At the response to enter, the pink haired witch walked inside with a determined expression and noticed that the Lupins were already there.

“I see that you made up your mind,” observed Isadora quietly. “Before you tell us, there is one more thing you need to hear from us.”

Tonks deflated slightly, eager to get past this nerve wreaking experience. She nodded at her to continue.

“When Harry arrived at 1981 he was not alone,” she explained. “There was a child with him, who came from the future as well.”

“A child!” Tonks said, confused. “Why would he take a child with him?”

“Sentimental reasons,” said Remus, smiling sadly at her. “He had been raising that child as his own and he knew that as soon as he succeeded in changing the past, the kid would disappear. Harry couldn’t bear that thought, so he chose to take him to 1981 and leave him to be raised by other people.”

“I understand, I probably would have done the same thing,” mused Tonks thoughtfully. “Why are you telling me this? It’s not going to change my decision.”

“It might,” chuckled Isadora. “The kid’s name was Teddy Lupin and he was the son of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks from 1998.”

She stopped breathing. Everyone was watching her and she was panicking. The little kid who had played with her was her son! She was too young to be someone’s mother. Hell, she was closer in age to Teddy than to Remus! That thought made her giggle hysterically, causing some concern from the unspeakable and amusement from the aurors.

“Nymphadora, are you all right?” asked Remus, probably worried about her sanity.

“Don’t call me that,” she managed to say without her usual venom. Nonetheless, it seemed to do the trick and convinced Remus that she was okay. She managed to get control of her giggles and took a huge breath to steady herself.

“I believe you were right, this changes things,” she eventually said, looking at Isadora.

“You still have time to choose, you don’t have to answer right now,” stated Moody, almost sympathetically.

“Is there any more life altering information that you want to give me?” asked Tonks in a defeated tone, rubbing her face and trying to stop the headache that she knew was coming.

“Not right now,” said Isadora cheerfully, making her groan loudly.

“We have much more to tell you, but only if you decide to travel” clarified Remus.

Tonks didn’t know if that made things easier or harder, to know that there were still stuff she didn’t know about. However, in that moment she didn’t think she could handle anything else. She returned home to lay down on her bed and stare at the walls, examining everything they had told her about the past. Nothing had convinced her that she was actually needed, that there was a possibility for her to make a life for herself in 1981, until they had told her about Teddy. He was her son and if she stayed he would never know her as her mother, only as her cousin Tonks. Strangely, that broke her heart.

Teddy already had a mother, Isadora was great with him. Nevertheless, as far as she knew Isadora wasn’t even in the picture at the time - Tonks had met her after her first year at Hogwarts, more than a year later. Teddy had been born during a war and lived the first years of his life with broken teenagers, before being carried almost twenty years to the past and losing all the people he had known. All that must have been quite traumatic for the poor kid. He was her own flesh and blood; she might not have given birth to him, but Teddy was hers. Therefore, it was her responsibility to help him. But more than that, she could feel it in her bones and her magic, the need to be there for him, to help her son cope with the tragedies that life had thrown at him.

Her mind continued to circle around the same thoughts for a while. However, in her heart Tonks knew that the decision was made. She couldn’t abandon her own son. That didn’t mean she was not going to fight to keep everything she had in her life, like her parents. They deserved to know that Teddy was their grandson and the metamorphmagus refused to lie and hide from them for eight years. So, she would have to negotiate with her bosses to let them in on the secret. Her friends were more difficult, as they would all be ten years old and not really her friends yet. The young witch would have to wait until she reached this year to talk to them again. That was going to be painful…

She was not the best at negotiating terms, but in this case it would be necessary. If they want her to go back – and she was pretty sure they did – she had some demands of her own.

Tonks spend the rest of the weekend planning her best approach for the confrontation. She requested another meeting and, on Monday evening, she was in Moody’s office once again, with the auror giving her his full attention.

“Did you change your mind girl?” asked Moody, pleased with himself for some odd reason.

“I’m not entirely sure. I have some conditions I’ll like to discuss.”

“Let’s hear them, then.”

“Uhm, ok. Firstly, as you have already informed me that I’ll be working with Remus and the others, it’s certain that I’ll be having contact with Teddy and I want him to know who I really am. I refuse to lie to him or anyone in that team.”

“Done.”

The quick acceptance threw her off. “Oh, all right. Secondly, I want to inform my parents of my mission, now and in 1981.”

“Easily accomplished. What else?”

“I can’t hide the fact that I’m a methamorphmagus for so long, so it has to be included in my new identity.”

“Sounds reasonable. Anything else?”

“Well, I would like a pay rise… “

Moody snorted “Keep dreaming girl, in the past you will be earning less. There would be more hands-on training and less billable work, at least at the beginning.”

Tonks pouted, but she hadn’t actually expected him to agree on that one. She was truly surprised that he hadn’t fight her more on the other issues, after all they had done to insist on the secrecy. He seemed to understand what she was thinking and explained it to her.

“The secrecy oath was mainly for the people who won’t be volunteering to take part on the mission. We will be discussing each case individually to decide what to divulge to family members.”

“But you already knew who would accept it and who wouldn’t. I don’t get it, why did you asked so many extra people to attend that meeting?”

“Because those extra people, as you call them, deserved the opportunity as well. We don’t know exactly what happened the first time around, only who showed up in the past. That is something you will need to learn to be able to work in what is basically a time loop; the results might be predetermined for you, but not the process. You need to ignore it as much as possible, live your life as normally as you can, or you are going to drive yourself insane thinking of the what ifs.”

He had given her much to think about. After the old auror’s speech, he had dismissed her and told her to focus on her training for the rest of the week. That Friday they would be confirming the mission participants and assigning mentors to help stablishing the new backgrounds and teach them what they needed to know to work in 1981. She was equal parts eager and apprehensive.


	3. A brand new start

Friday had come and gone and she was once again at home with her parents, in their living room. It would have been a normal Saturday morning, except for the fact that Head Auror Alastor Moody was in there with them. The man had been friendly with her parents for almost a decade, but it was weird to see him in their house at their sole guest - they were not that close to him.

They had decided to meet there to discuss the situation with her parents; Moody needed to be present to extend the oath to them. She was grateful to be able to finally be honest with them. Tonks was not a very good liar, she found it hard to even omit things and they had quickly picked up on it the previous weeks. However, the witch had explained she was under oath and they had respected it.

Once they had deal with the technicalities, the young witch was hesitant to start the explanations to her family. Taking pity on the girl, her boss told them what was going to happen. They seemed a little sad but not that surprised by the news and that puzzled her greatly.

“You need to understand Dora; this has already happened for us. You have already traveled to 1981 and met us,” explained her dad.

Comprehension dawn on her. Of course, how stupid of her! Her parents had been living with two of her for all those years. She suddenly wondered if she had met her other self but she knew better than to ask.

“So, you already know about Teddy?” she questioned, uncertain.

“That was the first thing you told us,” her mum tried to reassured her.

“That’s great,” Tonks replied unenthusiastically. She was the last to know. Everyone around her knew about the time travel and her son, but no one had seen fit to inform her. She was feeling betrayed and hurt and it showed on her rapidly darkening hair.

“Come on girl, don’t be daft. When did you want to be told? At ten years old? When you applied for the Aurors? The knowledge would have held you back and you know it,” Moody snarled irritably.

“That’s true Nymphadora, it would have burdened you unnecessarily. Just look at your behavior this past weeks. You are barely going out, stuck in your own head - everything because of this damn mission. What would you have done if we had informed you when you graduated Hogwarts?”

“I –I don’t know,” stammered the young witch, chastised. She wasn’t sure. She might have decided to distance herself from her friends or to focus exclusively on her training. What she knew was that her mother was right, it would have been a heavy weight to carry having a departure date fast approaching.

“I’m sorry, you are right…” She finally said, hugging her mum. The woman returned it with feeling and it made her feel instantly better. Tonks didn’t let it last too long, as her boss was still in the room.

“Well, now that we are past that issue, I must be off. Trainee Tonks, I expect to see you next week ready for information gathering and heavy work on your background.” Moody had been assigned as her mentor, something that had surprised the rest of the volunteers. Tonks understood the reasons, clearly they would be working on their parallel mission as well. However, she would have expected Isadora to be her mentor instead of the Head Auror.

Her dad stood up to see him off at the flu, leaving her alone with her mum. Andromeda Tonks nee Black was her role model, an exceedingly intimidating woman who was dedicated to her love ones. She had left her parents and siblings just after graduation to pursue a life with the man she had fallen for and had never looked back. For the first twelve years of her life, the only relative from her mum’s side that Tonks knew was Sirius. It all changed after she returned from her first year at Hogwarts.

Her musing was interrupted by her mum’s voice. “What are you thinking dear?”

“About the future… Or I guess the past,” she sighed. “Am I making the right choice?”

Her mum was silent for a minute. “I can’t really answer that; you’re old enough to understand that decisions like this are never plainly right or wrong. What I can tell you is that, whatever you decide, you will never be alone. Your father and I will always be there for you, as weird as it might be to see your grown up married daughter next to her twelve-year-old self.”

“MARRIED?”

“Upps, I guess I shouldn’t have said that…” her mum hummed, not at all regretful. “I assumed by now you would have figure out who your older self is…”

“I – I haven’t really given it too much thought, I’ve been worried about other details,” Tonks protested, getting defensive and trying to stop the tips of her hair from turning red.

Her dad had returned just in time to listen to her grumbling. “What have you done to upset our girl now, love?”

“I have just informed her that she’ll marry someone, not really that surprising. I don’t understand what is troubling her so much…”

Her dad tried to hide her amused grin. “I think it might be the fact that we are aware of who she will marry _before_ she has even started dating him…”

Her mum emitted an approving sound, nodding thoughtfully “that is probably it.”

Tonks had long decided to ignore them as much as they were ignoring her and had shifted her attention to the issue at hand. It was certainly true that she hadn’t dwell much on that question yet. Had she met her older self? According to her mum, she should have guessed who she was, so the answer was most definitely a resounding yes. The young witch wasn’t completely sure that she wanted to know though.

* * *

The Auror Department was bustling with activity. Each of the volunteers was grouped with their mentors, surrounded by privacy wards. A few of them were in closed offices, like Tonks and Moody.

Her mentor didn’t waste any time and got directly to the point. One of the first things to take care of were the practical issues; stablishing a background for her new life in the past was the priority. All of them would be choosing different names and changing their appearances. In Tonks’ case, her looks were an easy fix due to her morphing abilities, but the new name required a bit more effort, as Moody simply put.

“We need to work on your cover story and identity. In order for it to be convincing, you can’t hesitate delivering your answers; this information should become as natural to you as your birth name.”

“All right, so something easy to fake and easy to remember? A muggleborn would probably attract less attention, and a regular name like Amy White or Sarah Jones; something you may find in the muggle world by the dozens…” suggested Tonks.

Her mentor shook his head. “That’s not the right approach. For some of the other travelers, sure, but in your case it would cause too much trouble. Issue number one; you want to stay in contact with your parents. What excuse will a random muggleborn have to suddenly become close to them?” At her lack of answer, he continued. “Issue number two; you are not muggle raised, you might be able to fool purebloods but I doubt you know enough to convince an actual muggleborn. Issue number three: where were you educated? Nearly all muggleborns in the UK attend Hogwarts.”

“Okay okay, so I ought to be a half-blood or a pureblood. To have an easier time contacting my parents, should I be a relative of them? A distant Tonks or Black cousin…” she trailed off thoughtfully.

Moody butted in with useful advice. “Let’s not forget you are a metamorph. That draws attention to yourself and people might start asking awkward questions; you need a way to shut them all up. Something tragic or horrible, so that decent folks wouldn’t want to upset you.”

“That’s devious… Were you a Slytherin by any chance?” She grinned at him and he snorted and motioned sharply for her to get back to the point. “I should be a Black cousin then, they are well known for having the metamorphmagus gene and it’s perfectly believable if I have a tragic story involving that family… Just look at any of them; my mum, Sirius.”

“That’s well-reasoned,” approved her boss. She preened a little, unconsciously. “A squib daughter would be the best option; you need to look up at your family tree and find a name for your potential father or grandfather.”

Tonks scrunched up her face, confused. “But, haven’t we agreed to create a pureblood or halfblood persona?”

Moody sighed, deeply disappointed. “We did girl; I haven’t said anything to the contrary. You can have a squib father or grandfather and a muggleborn mother educated in another country. We should even find a real witch, no need to create false people.”

“All right, I got it,” reassured Tonks. “I’ll take care of searching potential ancestors tonight. My mum will certainly help.”

“Next step, your name. Find something you can get used to answer to,” instructed the man.

“So, something close to Nymphadora? I don’t really answer to that name honestly… Well, some people call me Dora so I believe I could work with that… Dorea? Callidora? People might call me Callie; I don’t like it…” Her mentor left her to figure it out on her own and she appreciated it. She wanted to choose her own name. “Theodora? My dad would love it, but it might raise uncomfortable questions… I want the Dora at the end, definitely. Mhm… Elladora? Isadora?” She said the last two almost unconsciously, too wrapped up on figuring out name alternatives, but the sight of Moody’s face twitching slightly at the last option made her stop and rethink.

“Isadora…” She repeated with a nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Moody twitched again, to her amusement and disbelief. “You think I should use that? But there is an Isadora Black alrea –” She sucked in a deep breath and covered her mouth with her hand. Eyes wide, she stared at Moody, a silent question directed at him. He nodded warily and Tonks felt her whole body stiffening. She didn’t know how to process it.

Isadora Black was her! Nymphadora Tonks, daughter of Andromeda and Ted Tonks, mother of Teddy Lupin and – the last thought almost making her pass out – wife of Remus Lupin. She was unaware of her surroundings, so she missed Moody leaving the office and returning with a cup of tea until the irritable man pushed it into her hands. She stared at it, perplexed, but started drinking after a loud bark from her boss.

The drink was probably laced with some sort of calming draught, because she could suddenly think normally again. The old auror was reading a mission report, giving her space to collect herself. She felt a surge of fondness towards him but stayed silent and finished the tea.

“Thank you, I’m okay now, I think.” Moody glanced at her abandoning the papers he was poring over and patted her shoulder awkwardly. She had to repress an inappropriate giggle.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of girl, that would have shocked any of us. The important thing is to accept it and move on.” Practical as always, that was exactly what the young trainee needed at the moment. She nodded determinedly at him and waited for the instructions she was sure were next. Tonks didn’t have to wait long.

“I’m ordering you not to look for more information on Isadora,” he was as serious as she had ever seen him. “You already know too much and I have told you about the dangers of driving yourself insane by thinking of the future.” The way he said that made her think it had actually happened. She feared for the fate of one of her companions, but like Moody was saying, there was nothing she could do about it and worrying wouldn’t help anyone. The auror trainee nodded, thoroughly intimidated.

“Good,” approved Moody. “By the same rules, you shouldn’t say much to us in the past. You will meet us for the first time at Lupin’s house, on December 22nd. We will be there with Potter and he will be explaining a lot of what happened to him in his future and what he hopes for us to accomplish. Thankfully, most of what we did isn’t public knowledge, so it will be new for you as well. Of the stuff you are aware, you need to be extremely careful with the facts you choose to share with us. Be honest, of course, but refuse to answer if you don’t know if you should.”

Tonks was getting nervous about those restrictions; she was not the best at keeping secrets. “Are there any events that you can categorically forbid me to share?”

Moody was pensive for a while. “The whole Dumbledore situation is a big no. You must let that develop naturally. Particulars about each person’s future, use your own judgement, the less you say the better. General statements like the decrease in corruption and crime are probably ok. We will be reviewing the names of the people in power and the general state of the wizarding world in 1981, while we work on that I’ll let you know if there is something else forbidden."

Without much preamble, he levitated one of the huge piles of papers that filled his desk and placed it right in front of her, stating that she was to study it all. He ignored her panicked reaction and began explaining the first topic - the Ministry of 1981.

The rest of the day was a dreadfully boring experience. Nonetheless, she acquiesced in its usefulness and therefore endured it. She learned more of the wizarding world that she had ever known. The metamorphmagus left that evening with the threat of a similar ordeal if she didn’t figure out the Black relatives by the following day. Tonks refrained from reminding him that she just needed to look at Isadora’s story and repeat it; she didn’t think it would be appreciated.

The week continued along the same line, combining a bit of her regular training with intel gathering and reviewing. She hadn’t seen the Lupins since her revelation and Moody told her that they were purposely avoiding her. They believed it would be too much for her and Tonks reluctantly agreed, even if she was a little sad to think about leaving without saying goodbye to them. That weekend she visited her friends and spend as much time as possible with them, trying and failing to forget the fact that she wouldn’t see any of her schoolmates for the next eight years of her life and that when she would finally get the chance to reconnect they would all be younger than her.

Her last week in 1989 passed by in a flash. The metamorphmagus spent most of her time with Moody and she got to know the old guy. Her mentor was a simple person, who cared deeply about those under his command and hid it all behind the façade of the paranoid soldier. Tonks was really fond of him and she was glad he would be there in 1981.

The volunteers had also met with the cloaked unspeakable once again. He/she explained the time turners more in detail, describing how they should use them and cautioning about the dangers. He/she also talked at length about the time loop they would be existing in, repeating most of the same warnings that Moody had drilled into her head.

* * *

The day of her departure, the soon to be ex-Nymphadora Tonks woke up feeling like she was about to take her OWLS once again. The knot in the pit of her stomach was strangely familiar and she hadn’t missed it one bit. The trainee had a depressing morning with her parents, most of it spent avoiding their sad glances at her and finishing packing the few belongings that she was allowed to take with her.

At noon, the volunteers and the people in the know met at an abandoned warehouse they had previously chosen. Many unspeakables had demanded that the time travelers depart from the Department of Mysteries; however, Moody had objected to the idea, calling it a ridiculous risk. He argued that the travelers could take as many authorizations as they were able to provide, but that wouldn’t change the fact that nobody in the past would remember giving any to them in the first place. That would certainly cause problems and, even if the past-unspeakables were eventually convinced of their story, those top Ministry researchers would probably want to study them and the time turners. That was definitely not the point of the journey. Remus and the other unspeakable who had been involved in the project agreed with him wholeheartedly. Moody had commented to Tonks that all of those geniuses at the DoM were too intelligent for their own good and were lacking every bit of common sense.

As a result, they all gathered in an empty building which had been unoccupied since 1976. A total of eight people would make the journey to the past; all of them trainees or junior aurors with no children, spouses or big responsibilities to anyone in 1989. There were three witches and five wizards. Tonks was supposed to share an apartment with the other two women; she had gotten to know them a little during the past week and they seemed like good people. Each of them had chosen or be assigned at least one person to make contact with in the past, who would help them build their new lives. In her case, she had a group of them so she wasn’t worried. At least not about that.

“Is everyone here?” called one of the senior aurors who Tonks didn’t know by name. “Good, good, volunteers to the front!”

Tonks disentangled herself from her mum’s arms and stepped towards the area the auror was pointing at. She had said her goodbyes already; she was ready for this. Moody and the unspeakable were there as well and they organized everyone in a line, facing the crowd. The unspeakable was levitating a case with the delicate time turners and started putting each of them around the travelers’ necks. Tonks was feeling a bit numb but, as soon as the time device was set against her chest, her earlier excitement came back in full force and she beamed at her parents. She was vaguely aware of the unspeakable making a last minute speech and then they were counting down. It would be as simple as pressing a button, the artefacts had all been prepared in advance, but the trainee got ready nonetheless, her hand hovering above the hourglass. She glanced at her parents one more time and pressed the button as soon as the countdown reached cero. In a whirlwind of colors and lights she felt the world starting to move around her, rearranging into a brand new start.


End file.
